


Group Chat

by kyungsoospaghetti



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: -Ish, Crack, Fluff, M/M, Oh Sehun-centric, SeSoo, dont hate the ugliness, hunsoo - Freeform, it's my first completed fic, sehun just loves kyungsoo so much and i rELATE, this fic is so ass I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 12:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7977346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyungsoospaghetti/pseuds/kyungsoospaghetti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sehun's in a group chat with beagle line. He also really loves Kyungsoo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Group Chat

**Author's Note:**

> Their chat names:  
> Sehun: Big booty  
> Chanyeol: Baekhyun’s small dicc  
> Baekhyun: IT'S AVERAGE  
> Jongdae: jd :3  
> $$$: Junmyeon  
> Kyungsoo: dokyungsoo  
> Also follow me on twitter, @oofstark. please yell at me to keep writing :')  
> Edit: I also have a baeksoo and chansoo fic coming up so keep on the lookout for those :P (why do i like unpopular pairings :'''')

**Day 1: Kyungsoo’s Text**

Tuesday, 11:39 AM

*Big booty: BAEKABEKABKEBAEKABEKABEK GEUSS WHO JSUT TEEXCTED ME

*IT’S AVERAGE: who

*Baekhyun’s small dicc: UM SEHUN

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ARE YOU NOT GOING TO ACKNOWLEGEE ME???????

Baekhyun’s small dicc: YOUR BEST FRIEND

Big booty: BAEKHGYUN I SA LSO MY BEST FRIEND AND HE TOLD ME NOT TO TEXT YOU UNTIL YOU CHANEG YOUR USERNAEM

Baekhyun’s small dicc: never :)

IT’S AVERAGE: U FUCKING BETTER

Big booty: FUCKIGN ANYWATS

Big booty: GEUS WHO TEXETD ME

IT’S AVERAGE: I fucking asked who you ugly piece of shit. Fucking answer before i remove you

Big booty: NO DONT

Big booty: IT’S KYUGNSOO

IT’S AVERAGE: ESUYDGAHIKZEGUWYADHSJ

IT’S AVERAGE: FUIDHCJVNKX

Baekhyun’s small dicc: FUCKINGWEJSDKFN

Baekhyun’s small dicc: NOEFD HE DIDNTE DSFEDSJKL

Baekhyun’s small dicc: YORUE JOKINGGINRKSGBDKJ

IT’S AVERAGE: SHIT WEIRKDFHSAJLLEDSA

Baekhyun’s small dicc: UEYGFDHISKJIEW IM DYIGNED

Big booty: IM GOIGN TO FCUCKING CRY

IT’S AVERAGE: WHEN DID HE GET YOUR NUCEMBERE OGMGOM

Baekhyun’s small dicc: I THOUGHT U WERE AFRIAD TO TALK TO HIM OGM I CANNOT BELIEVEV EIFSDJKL

Big booty: HE ASKED ME

Baekhyun’s small dicc: AHHHHHHHEWRSUDFYHIXZOJ

IT’S AVERAGE: HE WANTS YOU OFMOFMF

Big booty: TODAY HE SAT NEXT TO ME DURING OUR LECTUEREFOR STATISTICS AND HE WHISPERED TO ME THAT I TOOK GOOD NOTES AND THAT I HAD NICE HANDWRITINGN

Big booty: SO THEN HE ASKED ME FOR MY NUMBER SO I COULD SEND THEM TO HIM

IT’S AVERAGE: :///////////////////////////////////////

IT’S AVERAGE: ihy i thought he wanted the dick

Baekhyun’s small dicc: wow…

Big booty: SHUT UP

Big booty: ANYWAYS

Big booty: HE TEXTED ME “HI IS THIS SEHUN. JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THIS IS THE RIGHT NUMBER”

IT’S AVERAGE: ://////////////

IT’S AVERAGE: who even are you

IT’S AVERAGE: im disowning u

IT’S AVERAGE: youre not my son

Big booty: SHUT TF UP

Big booty: IM NOT DONE

Big booty: OK SO I RESPOND “YES IT’S SEHUN. DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND THE NOTES NOW?”

Big booty: SO I SEND MY NOTES AND HE SAYS

Big booty: THANKS

IT’S AVERAGE: oh my god

IT’S AVERAGE: i really hate you. Literally nothign fucking happened you swine. Why are you even freaking out

Big booty: IM NOT DOEN OMG

Big booty: OK SO AFTER HE SAYS THAT

Big booty: HE SAYS

Big booty: DO YOU WANT TO COME OVER TO MY DORM NEXT WEEK TO STUDY

Big booty: IT’S BEEN FIVE MINUSTE AND I HAVENT RESPONDED OGM

Baekhyun’s small dicc: AHHHHHH YOUR GONNA GET THE DICC BOI

IT’S AVERAGE: you’re*

IT’S AVERAGE: dick*

IT’S AVERAGE: boy*

Baekhyun’s small dicc: You are

Baekhyun’s small dicc: FUCKING ANNOYING

IT’S AVERAGE: what? I like grammar

Baekhyun’s small dicc: SAYS THE ONE WHO FUCKING MAEKS A TYPO EVERY FIVE SECONDS, MR TYPO

IT’S AVERAGE: YOURE NO BETTER

Big booty: ok but can we all take a moment

Big booty: and fUcking hELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT I SHOULD TELL HIM

[jd :3 has entered the conversation]

Baekhyun’s small dicc: SAY YES ARW YOU DUMB

*jd :3: what are we saying yes to?

Baekhyun’s small dicc: SEHUSN GETTING THE DICC DUDE

jd :3: DUDEEEEEE

jd :3: I never thought I'd see the day when our group’s virgin got laid

Big booty: IM NOT A VIRGIN

jd :3: I've known u my whole life son

jd :3: you're a virgin

Big booty: :(((

jd :3: ;3

jd :3: so who is he fucking

IT’S AVERAGE: KYUNGSOO

Big booty: IM NOT FUXKING ANYONE

jd :3: Kyungsoo as in the junior Sehun’s had a crush on since freshman year?

Baekhyun’s small dicc: that very one

jd :3: how’d you even get him?

Baekhyun’s small dicc: I'll send you screenshots

Big booty: so I said yes to him :):):))):):)):):)):))

Big booty: I think I might cry :):):):)):):)):)

Big booty: I seem calm but my brain has fallen out of my body and has rolled off of an 82 story building onto a speeding highway :):):)

jd :3: did he say anything back

Baekhyun’s small dicc: !!!

Baekhyun’s small dicc: I’m FREKAING out for you rn

Big booty: he said

Big booty: “can't wait to see you ;)” :))):):)):):):):) I am ok. I am fine. I am not dyting. My arms and legs are not broken :)

Big booty: actually they are :):):):)):

Big booty: save my arms and legs

IT’S AVERAGE: clam down

Baekhyun’s small dicc: oh

Baekhyun’s small dicc: what happened to typing correctly Mr Typo :)

IT’S AVERAGE: omg just shit up

Baekhyun’s small dicc: how does one shit up?

Baekhyun’s small dicc: baek answer me I want to know

Tuesday, 12:59 PM

Baekhyun’s small dicc: it's been two hours :/

Baekhyun’s small dicc: u suck

IT’S AVERAGE: and u swallow ;)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: :/

**Day 7: Hair sniffer?**

Big booty: kill me

Big booty: castrate me

Big booty: I don't wish to live this awful life

Big booty: fUCKI NG KILL ME I HATE MYSELF

IT’S AVERAGE: soooo I'm taking that you didn't fuck him :)

[Big booty has removed IT’S AVERAGE from the conversation]

[jd :3 has added IT’S AVERAGE to the conversation]

IT’S AVERAGE: ihy

jd :3: how about you don't be such a dick in the first place ;3

jd :3: sehun, what happened?

Big booty: UGHHH I SNIFFED HIS HAIR

jd :3: what

Baekhyun’s small dicc: SHHSBDHDHDBWKWK WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

jd :3: Kyungsoo’s?

Big booty: YES I WANT TO KMS

jd :3: Kim Minseok? haha :333

Big booty: ://////

Big booty: this is a serious matter! :(

Big booty: I think Kyungsoo hates me ; — ;

IT’S AVERAGE: I would too

IT’S AVERAGE: you aren't going to sniff me next are you? I need to know to take precaution

[Big booty has removed IT’S AVERAGE from the conversation]

[Baekhyun’s small dicc has added IT’S AVERAGE to the conversation]

IT’S AVERAGE: YOU DIDNT REMOVE JONGDAE WHEN HE MADE A JOKE

Big booty: but it's jongdae

IT’S AVERAGE: touché

jd :3: what went down sehun?

Big booty: WELL

Big booty: THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE WENT LIKE THIS

Big booty: SO WE’RE TALKIG AND WE’RE MAKING JOKES AND WHAT NOT AS WE’RE STUDYING

Big booty: SO HE LEANS CLOSE TO ME TO LOOK AT MY NOTES THAT I HAVE ON MY LAP

Big booty: SO I SMELL HIS HAIR CAUSE IT ALWAYS LOOKS SO BOUNCY AND FRESH AND CUTE AND AMAZING AND WONDERFUL AND AMAZING AND STUNNING AND GORGEOUS AND TERRIFIC AND FANTASTIC AND PRETTY AND BEAUTIFUL AND JUST ALL AROUND WONDERFUL

Baekhyun’s small dicc: so many… adjectives…

Big booty: SO AFTER I TAKE SEVERAL GOOD SNIFFSOF HIS HAIR HE LOOKS UP TO ME AND SMILES

Big booty: THEN HE WALKS AWAY TO HIS KITCHEN

Baekhyun’s small dicc: kitchen?

Big booty: HE’S A JUNIOR REMEMBER. JUNIORS GET KITCHENETTES

Big booty: ANYWAYS, SO I BOLT

Big booty: AND I LEFT ALL OF MY THINGS THERE

Big booty: I WANT TO CRY

Big booty: HE KEEPS TEXTING ME AND I JUST WANT TO HIDE IM SO EMBARRASSED. IM CRYING SO MCUH

Baekhyun’s small dicc: how does your stoic ass face even manage to cry

Big booty: OK IM NOT CRYING BUT MY HEART IS

IT’S AVERAGE: I HATE YOUR ASS

IT’S AVERAGE: WHAT IF HE DIDNT NOTICE

IT’S AVERAGE: WHAT IF HE DIDNT FIND IT FUCKING WEIRD YOU BUTT

IT’S AVERAGE: HES PROBABLY TEXTING YOU SO MUCH SINCE YOU FUCKING DISSAPEARED

Big booty: he did say he's worried about me…

Big booty: but he's probably only saying that bc he thinks I'm weird

jd :3: ?????

jd :3: what kind of logic

jd :3: this is why your first kiss was an accident

Baekhyun’s small dicc: STORY TIME :!D

jd :3: no story time

jd :3: it was me

jd :3: we had a sleepover in elementary one time and since his room is super dark and I kissed him by accident

jd :3: idk if you can even call it a kiss our lips just brushed

IT’S AVERAGE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH

Baekhyun’s small dicc: screenshot :)

IT’S AVERAGE: FUCKING GOLDEN

Big booty: JONGDAE

Big booty: I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE

jd :3: whoops ;3

jd :3: I don't think he's ever kissed anyone other than me

Big booty: YES I HAVE

Baekhyun’s small dicc: who :)

Tuesday, 9:01 PM

Baekhyun’s small dicc: it's been five minutes sweaty and still no answer :)

Big booty: choke on a dick

Baekhyun’s small dicc: something you'll never do >^<

Big booty: :///////////

**Day 8: facing fears**

Wednesday, 8:49 AM

Big booty: I want to die :)))))

Big booty: I have to see Kyungsoo in 10 minutes :)))))) how do I drop statistics in that time :)))))

Big booty: someone give me a rope I'm going to hang myself in the courtyard

jd :3: I know who has some rope :3:3:3:333

[jd :3 has added $$$ to the conversation]

jd :3: Junmyeon!! Do you have any rope so Sehun can hang himself? He wants to kill himself over Kyungsoo :’( You were on that camping trip last week right?

$$$: I was…

$$$: and Sehun’s in this convo?

[Big booty has been removed]

$$$: was…?

$$$: I need to talk to him. I didn't have his line id

jd :3: why?

$$$: cause kyungsoo’s been worried sick about him

$$$: sehun’s been ignoring him and he's super worried

$$$: he went to sehun’s dorm yesterday

IT’S AVERAGE: ahhh. If I knew it was him I would've opened the door :/

$$$: who are you

IT’S AVERAGE: his roommate that you don't need to know~~~

Baekhyun’s small dicc: :)

$$$: Uh... I'm guessing you're Baekhyun. Don't you really hate me?

IT’S AVERAGE: Yes! How did you guess? You’re my ex’s side bitch! Or have you been promoted to main bitch since I dropped his sloppy ass :)

$$$: i was drunk that time… I’m really sorry

$$$: and why didn't you open the door?? Yesterday really sucked bc of you. Kyungsoo was really upset

IT’S AVERAGE: ummmmm kyungsoo’s emotions aren’t my problem, sweaty :)

$$$: it’s sweetie

IT’S AVERAGE: It’s whatever I want it to be, sweaty :)

IT’S AVERAGE: I didn't open the door bc I always have someone pissed at me. I thought Kyungsoo was someone who wanted to beat my wack ass

$$$: I guess that's reasonable…

$$$: I’ll leave now

[$$$ has left the conversation]

[IT’S AVERAGE added Big booty to the conversation]

IT’S AVERAGE: THE SNAKE IS GONE

Big booty: WHY DID YOU ADD HIM?!!!!!?!???! HES KYUNGSOO’S BEST FRIEND OMGMG J WANT TO DIE

Big booty: WHAT HAPPENEDDEDDD

jd :3: what makes him a snake?

IT’S AVERAGE: UMMMM HE SLEPT WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND DRESSES LIKE A CHURCH BOY

jd :3: but i dress like a church boy :(

IT’S AVERAGE: BUT YOU ARENT A SNAKE DISGUISED AS A CHURCH BOY

Big booty: WHAT

Big booty: HAPPENED

IT’S AVERAGE: he basically said how it was kyungsoo who was at our door last night

IT’S AVERAGE: he said kyungsoo was upset and worried

Big booty: :)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: huh???

Big booty: I dont want to see him ever again

Baekhyun’s small dicc: umm???

Baekhyun’s small dicc: arent you in love with the guy?

Big booty: YESYEYSYESYSYE I AM. BUT I DONT WANT HIM TO BE WITH THIS WEIRDO. I DONT WANT HIM TO HANG OUT WITH ME CAUSE HE PITIES ME. CAUSE IM WEIRDD!!!!!! I HATE MY LIFEFIEFE

Baekhyun’s small dicc: you’re annoying

IT’S AVERAGE: very annoying

Big booty: ok so i walked into statistics

Big booty: and kyungsoo’s not here

Big booty: what a relief

jd :3: kys

Big booty: i wish i could

Wednesday, 9:06 AM

Big booty: he :) came :) and :) sat :) one :) seat :) over :)

Big booty: he put his bookbag next to me :)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: oh my god the world is ending

Baekhyun’s small dicc: kyungsoo’s bookbag is next to you

Baekhyun’s small dicc: what ever will we do

Big booty: shut up you foot

Wednesday, 9:18 AM

Big booty: so

Big booty: kyungsoo slid me a paper

Big booty: saying that he’s sorry for checking out my thighs????

Big booty: I am lost

IT’S AVERAGE: oh my god

IT’S AVERAGE: maybe this whole time

IT’S AVERAGE: he misunderstood why you ran out and thought it was bc he check you out

IT’S AVERAGE: WHAT IF THAT’S WHY HE WAS WORRIED AND SO UPSET. MAYBE HE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE YOU SNIFFING HIM

Big booty: jfc im an idiot

Big booty: i hate myself

Big booty: what do i write back to him??? Help

Baekhyun’s small dicc: write that you thought he left to the kitchen bc you weirded him out with the sniffing

Big booty: IM NOT GOING TO ADMIT TO TEH SNIFFING AFTER I HAVE JUST BEEN SAVED BY GOD

Big booty: also i am going to church this sunday. God really came in clutch

IT’S AVERAGE: get ready to meet a snake there

Baekhyun’s small dicc: then leave out the sniffing part. Just say you thought you weirded him out

Baekhyun’s small dicc: cause i mean you are weird regardless of the sniffing

Big booty: :(((((( im upset

Baekhyun’s small dicc: fuckign write it hoe

Big booty: i did :/

Wednesday, 9:23 AM

Big booty: I am so happy :)))))))

jd :3: what did he say

Big booty: ok first he asked if i thought i weirded him out bc of the sniffing :((( i was devestated when i read it but he later wrote that he thought it was cute and that he would’ve done the same thing bc my hair always looks so fluffy ;-;--;-;-;-;

Big booty: did i mention how cute kyungsoo is

Big booty: he is the cutest smollest thing i ahve ever set my eyes on ogm i love him so much

Big booty: he had the biggest smile on his face when he read that i wasn’t freaked by him or anything

Big booty: he was glowing and glistening like the sun. he is so perfect and amazing and wonderful and fantastic and glorious. Ha-lle-lu-jah. Jesus loves me so much

IT’S AVERAGE: that’s all he said :/

Big booty: HE ASKED ME OUT

Big booty: HE WANTS TO GO SEE A MOVIE WITH ME ON FRIDAY IM!!

jd :3: get it son ;)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: best put ALLLLLLL the moves or i’ll bust a cap in yo ass

Big booty: moves? Don’t you jsut sit and watch?

IT’S AVERAGE: ummmm

IT’S AVERAGE: no

Big booty: what do i do

Baekhyun’s small dicc: put your arm around him and touch his hand in the popcorn

IT’S AVERAGE: give him a blow job in the back

Big booty: um

Baekhyun’s small dicc: …

jd :3: 0.o

IT’S AVERAGE: have you never done that before?

Baekhyun’s small dicc: no… i dont think any sane person would do that

jd :3: why would anyone ever do that

IT’S AVERAGE: yifan corrupted me i thought it was normal

IT’S AVERAGE: fucking asshole

jd :3: you did that to him? Why

IT’S AVERAGE: I THOUGHT IT WAS JSUT SOMETHING YOU DID

Big booty: i think im going to follow what chanyeol said. It seems more appropriate on a first date…

Baekhyun’s small dicc: thank you :)

Big booty: kyungsoo’s ocming to sit next to me gtg

IT’S AVERAGE: i really hope he gets the dick

IT’S AVERAGE: 19 years is too long

**Day 10: Kissing Fiasco**

Friday, 11:32 PM

Big booty: I love life :)

jd :3: :)))))) what happened on the date :3

IT’S AVERAGE: dont fucking ask

IT’S AVERAGE: I was coming back to the dorm and i catch them too sucking face

Baekhyun’s small dicc: *two

IT’S AVERAGE: SHUT UP

Baekhyun’s small dicc: oh what happened Mr Typo?

IT’S AVERAGE: ANYWAYS

IT’S AVERAGE: I’m waiting around the corner, it was like fifteen minutes after i first catch them, and they’re still at it???

Big booty: he’s an amazing kisser

IT’S AVERAGE: YOU WOULFDNT FUCKING KNWO YOU ONLY KISSED JONGDAE

IT’S AVERAGE: AND YOU WERE CHOKING ON HIS UPPER LIP YOU FUCKING TURKEY LEG

Big booty: asshole :(

IT’S AVERAGE: SHUT UP

IT’S AVERAGE: SO

IT’S AVERAGE: AFTER KYUNGSOO IS GONE I GO IN OUR DORM

IT’S AVERAGE: AND SEHUN IS FUCKING SCREAMING

IT’S AVERAGE: MY EARS WERE ABOUT TO BURST. DUDE GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK AND STOLE MY HEARING AT THE SAME TIME

Big booty: IT WAS MY FIRST REAL KISS

jd :3: so you don’t consider me to be your first kiss? :’) that’s ok

Big booty: did we make out for half an hour :/

jd :3: true that

Big booty: he also asked me on another date for next friday :)))

Big booty: he wants to go to this steak restaurant. He said he loves steak and i said i loved steak too and his eyes lit up :’) im so happy

Baekhyun’s small dicc: arent you vegetarian

Big booty: i love do kyungsoo

Baekhyun’s small dicc: :///

Big booty: he held my hand in the popcorn before i could do it

Big booty: and he lifted up the armrest bc he said he wanted to sit closer to me

Big booty: I’m cryingggggg

Baekhyun’s small dicc: is he really crying baek

IT’S AVERAGE: surprisingly yes

Baekhyun’s small dicc: I’M COMING OVER

Baekhyun’s small dicc: OPEN THE DOOR U ASS

IT’S AVERAGE: FUCK YOURE QUICK

jd :3: we live two dorms down……….

IT’S AVERAGE: IM NOT OPENING THE DOOR UNTIL YOU CHANGE YOUR USER

Baekhyun’s average dicc: .

IT’S AVERAGE: did you really have to leave after you took that pic :/ ihy

Baekhyun’s small dicc: yes i did

IT’S AVERAGE: FUCKKKKK

jd :3: lol

jd :3: i like when you’re angry

IT’S AVERAGE: DAE BEAT FUCKING CHANYEOL PELAS

jd :3: no my hands are too precious to touch trash

Baekhyun’s small dicc: JONGDAE

Baekhyun’s small dicc: HOW COULD YOU

IT’S AVERAGE: VERBAL BEATING IS ALSO ACCEPTED

jd :3: lol i verbally beat him everyday

Baekhyun’s small dicc: D;

IT’S AVERAGE: I FUCGKGIN FORGOT

jd :3: what?

IT’S AVERAGE: I SAW SNAKE FACE AT LU’S PARTY TODAY

IT’S AVERAGE: AND HE LOOKED FUCKING HOT

IT’S AVERAGE: I HAVE NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE SEEN THIS MAN IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN KHAKIS AND CABLE SWEATERS

IT’S AVERAGE: TODAY HE WAS FUCKIGN WEARINF THE TIGHTEST BLACK PANTS AND THE TIGHTEST SHIRT

IT’S AVERAGE: YOU COULD SEE ALLLLLL HIS MUSCLES

IT’S AVERAGE: I WOULD’VE CHEATED ON ME TOO IF JUNMYEON ALWAYS LOOKED LIKE THAT

IT’S AVERAGE: HE SAID HE WAS DRUNK, RIGHT?

IT’S AVERAGE: FORGIVE AND FORGET AMIRIGHT ;)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: who are you

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i thought you said you’d shoved a knife up junmyeon’s ass next time you saw him

Baekhyun’s small dicc: he dresses nice once and you want to fuck the shit out of him?

IT’S AVERAGE: YOU ARE RIGHT

IT’S AVERAGE: FUCK THAT SNAKE

IT’S AVERAGE: RUINED MY GODDAMN RELATIONSHIP

IT’S AVERAGE: even tho yifan was basically my sugar daddy

IT’S AVERAGE: IT WAS STILL RUINED

Baekhyun’s small dicc: sugar daddy?

Baekhyun’s small dicc: wtf did he ever buy you

IT’S AVERAGE: you know my leather jacket :)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: NO FUCKING WAY

**Day 12: Church Boy**

Sunday, 10:03 AM

Big booty: guess who i saw at church :)

IT’S AVERAGE: a snake

Big booty: :/

**Day 16: Who was in your mouth?**

Thursday, 5:48 PM

IT’S AVERAGE: i hate myself

Baekhyun’s small dicc: don’t we all

IT’S AVERAGE: i am a horrible person

Baekhyun’s small dicc: what’s new

IT’S AVERAGE: I

IT’S AVERAGE: sucked junmyeon's dick at the cinema

Baekhyun’s small dicc: im blocking you on everything

Baekhyun’s small dicc: that’s wrong dude. Why? Wtf

Big booty: i am

Big booty: disgusted

IT’S AVERAGE: I JSUT SAW HIM THERE

IT’S AVERAGE: it was half-price movie day

IT’S AVERAGE: and i saw him in the back

IT’S AVERAGE: and i said that i forgave him

IT’S AVERAGE: one thing led to another and he gave me a handjob to which i moaned “snake” to

jd :3: oh my god

IT’S AVERAGE: and then i sucked his dick

IT’S AVERAGE: he changed so mcuh im so ugh!!!!

IT’S AVERAGE: he’s so hot now

jd :3: doesn’t mean you have to whip it out. Shit man

Big booty: teach me

Baekhyun’s small dicc: !!!!!

Baekhyun’s small dicc: SEHUN

Big booty: I want to suck kyungsoo’s dick one day

Big booty: and i want to be good at it

jd :3: im disowning you

jd :3: baekhyun’s a slut dont be like him

jd :3: and an exhibitonist

IT’S AVERAGE: WHAT’S WRONG WITH BEING LIKE ME

jd :3: everything

Big booty: i dont want to suck dick in a movie theater :////

Big booty: i want privacy

jd :3: good, my son

jd :3: i hope u suck that dick well one day

Big booty: i will one day ;-;

Big booty: I will make you proud

Baekhyun’s small dicc: *gags*

jd :3: dont hate

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i live to hate

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i live to be petty

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i live to prey on the happiness of others~

Big booty: ok

Big booty: anyways

Big booty: during statistics kyungsoo had his hand on my thigh the whole lecture :)

Big booty: i wanted to cry

Baekhyun’s small dicc: crying again? :))))

Big booty: you already have a picture :////

Baekhyun’s small dicc: um

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i need more bc it’s the only time your face actually expresses an emotion

Big booty: I SMILE

Big booty: I GET ANGRY

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ye but that’s like

Baekhyun’s small dicc: jsut your mouth and brows

Baekhyun’s small dicc: idk how to explain

Baekhyun’s small dicc: the rest of your face doesnt move

Baekhyun’s small dicc: it’s like you’ve had botox

Big booty: ihy

Big booty: fall in a bitch

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i will gladly fall into a bitch

Big booty: ******ditch

Baekhyun’s small dicc: :*

Thursday, 7:14 PM

Big booty: ahhhhh I was just with Kyungsoo rn

Big booty: he saw me in the library and he sat next to me

Big booty: he took my hand into his lap and started playing with my fingers. He was so cute. He was holding back a smile and he was blushing. I love him so much

Big booty: he said he couldn't go on the date on Friday :((( but asked me to sleepover on Sunday so we could watch a movie and on Monday we could go out and eat :)))) everything was going great until he said “why did your friend suck my friend’s dick in a theater”

Big booty: u fuking ruined our relationship u ass. u thought he was a snake why did u suck him off

Big booty: he said junmyeon was upset about it :((( u just sucked him and left

Baekhyun’s small dicc: sleepover?

IT’S AVERAGE: umm???

IT’S AVERAGE: I gave him the best suck of his life

IT’S AVERAGE: HE FUCKING WISHES I COULD SUCK HIS DICK AGAIN

Big booty: don't fucking suck his dick again

Baekhyun’s small dicc: why would you even consider that

IT’S AVERAGE: I HAVENT CONSIDERED THAT OMFG

IT’S AVERAGE: IM JUST SAYING HE WANTS IT SO BAD

jd :3: im with him right now. want me to show him that?

IT’S AVERAGE: NO EJDJDJSJ WHY WOULD DBSBJSJSJS NO

jd :3: too bad :((((

jd :3: I already did :((((

IT’S AVERAGE: WHY WOULD YOU FUCKITNG DO THAT

IT’S AVERAGE: NOW I HAVE TO GO INTO HIDING. IM MOVING TO MEXICO AND CHNAGING MY NAME TO LUIS MIGUEL

Baekhyun’s small dicc: isn't there already a singer with that name

jd :3: um actually junmyeon said he does want it 0.o

IT’S AVERAGE: ...

IT’S AVERAGE: tell him to text me rn

**Day 20: Confession Time**

Monday, 3:14 PM

jd :3: I

jd :3: hate my life sm

Baekhyun’s small dicc: y?

jd :3: I'm basically fucking Baekhyun and junmyeon’s personal messenger

IT’S AVERAGE: I love how u capitalized my name

IT’S AVERAGE: Jongdae ;)

jd :3: ://///////////////////////////////////////////////////

Big booty: what happened.

jd :3: ugh I'm just going back and forth between the both of them since I have classes back to back with each one of them.

jd :3: “tell baekhyun that I heart eyes him so much!!!”

jd :3: “tell junmyeon i love him so much and that he is so cute!!!”

jd :3: they’re goddamn annoying

jd :3: they suck each other off twice and suddenly they're in love

jd :3: I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it with my own two eyes

Baekhyun’s small dicc: yuck

Baekhyun’s small dicc: u fucking hypocrite

IT’S AVERAGE: :* hypocrisy got me a nice man so idc

Baekhyun’s small dicc: don't u feel ashamed

IT’S AVERAGE: not one bit ;)

Big booty: wth? Are u guys dating now

IT’S AVERAGE: yep yap yup

IT’S AVERAGE: he practically threw himself at me

IT’S AVERAGE: he came to our dorm after you left to have your “sleepover”. And he told me how much he thought after I sucked him. It was so romantic

Baekhyun’s small dicc: very romantic. yes

Big booty: but it was a sleepover :(((

IT’S AVERAGE: so basically after we sucked each other we fucked on your bed Sehun I'm sorry :)

Big booty: WHAT

IT’S AVERAGE: it's less lumpy than mine :)

Big booty: If you’re being serious I'm going to choke you

IT’S AVERAGE: junmyeon already did that last night ;));;));););););)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: grossss

jd :3: I don't

jd :3: want to hear anymore

Big booty: I'm going to throw up

Baekhyun’s small dicc: I never want to use my eyes to read ever again. I wish I could unsee that

IT’S AVERAGE: too bad so sad :*

jd :3: On to another topic, Sehun tell us about your “sleepover” with Kyungsoo

Big booty: DONT PUT IT IN QUOTATIONS IT WAS A SLEEPOVER

jd :3: u right

jd :3: you’ll probably die a virgin

Big booty: ihysm

Big booty: ANYWAYS

Big booty: we watched a movie and I started to get tired so I tried to rest my head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder but he's short so it started to hurt

Big booty: and I think he noticed bc he offered me his lap

Big booty: so for the rest of the movie my head was on his lap and he was playing with my hair

Big booty: he ran his fingers through it. it was so soothing ; — ;

Big booty: then he started playing with my ears and he traced my eyebrows and my nose

Big booty: my whole face practically

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ahhhhh so domestic

Big booty: and then he asked if he could kiss me and I said yes

Big booty: and he gave me the sweetest chaste kiss I have ever received in my entire life

IT’S AVERAGE: you've only kissed two people

Big booty: SHIT UP

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ah, we’re shitting up again? No one explained to me what it was the first time

Big booty: CHANYEOL SHUT UP

Big booty: back to the story

Big booty: he kissed my neck and he kissed my eyelid and then my jaw and then he kissed the corner of my mouth

Big booty: and then fast forward to this morning and I wake up laying down on the couch with Kyungsoo spooning me from behind

Big booty: I have never loved life more

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ihy

Baekhyun’s small dicc: I want that shit in my life

jd :3: you're just mad that girls never look at you :P

Baekhyun’s small dicc: like girls look at you either

jd :3: :////

Big booty: and you came onto my love life? bye

Baekhyun’s small dicc: AT LEAST WE’VE HAD ONE NIGHT STANDS

jd :3: with some very tipsy but consenting girls

jd :3: gotta respect whamen

Baekhyun’s small dicc: shhhh that's not helping our case

jd :3: don't matta son

jd :3: we still had our dicks in someone

Big booty: I hate you all

IT’S AVERAGE: so when are you two gonna fuck

IT’S AVERAGE: junmyeon said next month

Baekhyun’s small dicc: I say next year

Big booty: DONT BET ON MY LOVE MAKING

jd :3: I say he’ll die a virgin

IT’S AVERAGE: omg he calls it love making

Baekhyun’s small dicc: *gag*

Monday, 5:57 PM

Big booty: our date is in half an hour and I still don't know what to wear (╯°□°）╯︵ /(.□. \\)  

IT’S AVERAGE: I FUCKING left it out for you on your bed u ass

Big booty: I WANT TO B R E A T H ON MY DATE THANK YOU

IT’S AVERAGE: you can fucking breath with skinny jeans on hoe

Big booty: fine. Maybe the skinny jeans but not your fucking crop top

IT’S AVERAGE: oh my god. I fucking cut my guns and roses shirt just for you

Big booty: I don't want to show that much skin ;-;-;-;-; it has no sleeves

Baekhyun’s small dicc: baek come on

Baekhyun’s small dicc: they're going to a steak house

IT’S AVERAGE: ummmm I just asked ksoo and he said its nothing fancy and that it’s fine :)

Big booty: WHATHWATATHWATAHAHDHDB

Big booty: ARE YOU AT HIS DORM WITH FUXKIGND JUNMYEON NONONO

IT’S AVERAGE: :)

Big booty: KILL YOURSELF

Big booty: please kill yourself for me. play dead. dont speak to them

IT’S AVERAGE: I've been holding out killing myself since I entered college. I'm not going to do it for you :)

Big booty: I hatttttteeeee my lifeeeeee

Big booty: you better not have told him about how I had a breakdown in our dorm bc I'm so worried/excited about this date

IT’S AVERAGE: about to now brb

Big booty: kill me with that weeb sword

Big booty: someone do it

jd :3: the katana chanyeol has?

jd :3: I'll bring it

Big booty: THANK YOU

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ITS NOT A FUCKING WEEB SWORD OMFGFGFMG

jd :3: open up~

Big booty: he really brought it guys

Big booty: I cannot believe

IT’S AVERAGE: Kyungsoo asked me to ask you if you want him to come over to comfort you. He doesn't want you to be worried

Big booty: he is so sweet I love him so much

Big booty: BUT ILL REALLY IMPALE MYSELF ON THIS WEEB SWORD IF HE COMES

IT’S AVERAGE: he said thank you and that he likes you very very much <3

Big booty: YOU TOLD HIM THAT I SAID I LOVE HIM?!??!!

Big booty: IMPALING

Big booty: MYSELF

IT’S AVERAGE: you can't die before you impale yourself on Kyungsoo >^<

jd :3: then he’ll die a virgin like I said

Big booty: IM NOT A BOTTOM

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ye u are

Baekhyun’s small dicc: and it's not a weeb sword

IT’S AVERAGE: JUST GET FUCKING READY FOR YOUR DATE

IT’S AVERAGE: IF YOURE READY EARLY HE SAID HE’LL TAKE YOU OUT TO DO MORE SHIT

Big booty: *is sonic*

**Day 25: If You Can't Hold Your Liquor, Don't Drink**

Saturday, 1:06 AM

IT’S AVERAGE: [[image](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CrgNQ9TVMAAp7MH.jpg:large)]

Big booty: DID YOU FOLLOW US ON OUR DATE

Big booty: I HEAR YOU LAUGHING UNDER YOUR BEDSHEETS

IT’S AVERAGE: :)

IT’S AVERAGE: junmyeon thought it would be funny :)

Big booty: this is why you were demoted to just friend

Baekhyun’s small dicc: :)

IT’S AVERAGE: oh no! I am just Sehun’s regular friend, not best friend! What ever will I do

Big booty: ihy

IT’S AVERAGE: that's actually a compliment, I don't have too many people hating me

Big booty: everyone on campus wants to beat you up

IT’S AVERAGE: anywho :)

IT’S AVERAGE: our young boy right here had ice cream dripping down his face and Kyungsoo fucking licks it

Big booty: STOPPPP you're making me embarrassed

IT’S AVERAGE: FROM HIS NECK UP TO HIS CHIN

jd :3: our little boy is growing up :’)

Big Booty: shut up -////-

Baekhyun’s small dicc: omg that's exactly your face. No emotion just redness. That’s the only way I’d tell if you were embarrassed

Big booty: I'm not that stoic :///

IT’S AVERAGE: Kyungsoo’s pretty out there for a virgin

jd :3: what

Baekhyun’s small dicc: what

Big booty: he's a virgin o.0?

IT’S AVERAGE: yup. Joonmyeon told me and I was like HUH WHAT NOW. I thought he got ass all the time

IT’S AVERAGE: he dated like 6 people when we were freshman. How did he not sleep with any of them??

jd :3: I guess that means Sehun’s not getting any ass either :)

Big booty: idc about getting ass

Big booty: I'm so surprised. I didn't think that

Big booty: :) I was jealous of all those guys for no reason :)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: if u fucked him you'd be each other's firsts

Big booty: omg we would :)

Big booty: but I'm afraid

Baekhyun’s small dicc: afraid of what? It's just a dick m8 jfc

Big booty: we’ve only kissed

Big booty: I haven't even touched him anywhere

Big booty: I don't know if we’re even boyfriends

Big booty: does he consider me his boyfriend

Big booty: are we just going on dates

Big booty: what if these dates are just trials and he doesn't really like me he's just testing me to see if I'm boyfriend material

Big booty: what if im not good enough to make the cut

Baekhyun’s small dicc: shut your goddamn mouth up

IT’S AVERAGE: WHAT’S KYUNGSOO’S LINE IMMA ADD HIM AND ASK

Big booty: he doesnt have a line account :)

IT’S AVERAGE: fukkk

IT’S AVERAGE: i’ll just tell jm to tell kyungsoo that you really really want him to make a line >^< perfect :)

Big booty: i would really kill you

IT’S AVERAGE: kill me then :)

IT’S AVERAGE: cause i did it :)

IT’S AVERAGE: YO WTF DONT THROW YOUR PILLOW AT ME

Big booty: I DO WHAT I WANT

IT’S AVERAGE: IM KEEPING IT

Big booty: no throw it back i want to sleep :(

jd :3: im friends with idiots

Big booty: just two idiots

IT’S AVERAGE: yes, you and yourself

Big booty: you make me so upset

Saturday, 4:47 AM

[IT’S AVERAGE has added dokyungsoo to the conversation]

IT’S AVERAGE: sehun’s your boyfriend right?

dokyungsoo: Did you make me create a line just to ask this?

dokyungsoo: Also yes, he is my boyfriend. Why do you ask?

Saturday, 9:39 AM

Sehun: Hi, Kyungsoo.

dokyungsoo: Hello~ :)

dokyungsoo: Do you normally chat on this app?

Sehun: Yes I do.

dokyungsoo: I’ll use it more often if you’d like.

Sehun: I would like that. I use this app all the time because I’m in a group chat here and I like the emoticons

dokyungsoo: Yeah, they’re really cute but not as cute as you.

Sehun: Stop you’re making me blush -///-

dokyungsoo: Haha, that really looks like you.

Baekhyun’s small dicc: DID I NOT SAY THAT SHIT

Baekhyun’s small dicc: I DID. DID I NOT

dokyungsoo: Who’s this?

Sehun: Chanyeol :) Hahaha. He is such a laugh ha :)

dokyungsoo: I’ve never been in a group chat before

Baekhyun’s small dicc: and you wont be in one for long :D tata~

[Baekhyun’s small dicc has removed dokyungsoo from the conversation]

Sehun: WHY DID YOU REMOVE HIM OMGGM

Baekhyun’s small dicc: YOU TEXT FAKE

Baekhyun’s small dicc: HE TEXTS FAKE

Baekhyun’s small dicc: IT’S LIKE YOURE ROBOTS

Sehun: :(((((

Sehun: I’m glad he has line now.

Baekhyun’s small dicc: STOPSP ITITIT YOURE FREAKIGN ME OTU

Baekhyun’s small dicc: CAHNGE BACK YORU USER AND SOTP TEXTING LIKE THAT YOU FUCKIGN WEIRDO OMG

Sehun: no :((( kyungsoo’s going to see :((((

[IT’S AVERAGE has added dokyungsoo to the conversation]

IT’S AVERAGE: sehun’s old user was Big booty before he changed it for you :)

dokyungsoo: I know, you’ve sent me screenshots before.

Sehun: !!!!!

Sehun: this is utter betrayal

dokyungsoo: Change it back I liked it.

Big booty: :)

dokyungsoo: Lol

dokyungsoo: I guess that’s my cue to leave, I suppose.

[dokyungsoo has been removed from the conversation]

Big booty: I love him

Big booty: he accepts my ugly username

IT’S AVERAGE: u think your username is ugly?

IT’S AVERAGE: i wanna put mine back to baekstreet’s baek but i can’t bc of fuufcking chanyeol

Baekhyun’s small dicc: my user only speaks the truth

IT’S AVERAGE: my dick

IT’S AVERAGE: is average

IT’S AVERAGE: im not going to lie and say it’s fucking humongous

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i will never change it

Saturday, 11:32 PM

IT’S AVERAGE: i fuckign hate myself so mcuh

IT’S AVERAGE: junnmyeob ha ets me

IT’S AVERAGE: evryeofn heates me

IT’S AVERAGE: im goihn to kill mysefl

jd :3: woah are you drunk

IT’S AVERAGE: no!noo

IT’S AVERAGE: yeseos

IT’S AVERAGE: i am a bti intocicadtedg

jd :3: shit you always do something stupid when you drink

IT’S AVERAGE: i ahd liek  twoo beers

IT’S AVERAGE: i didf good

IT’S AVERAGE: no baddf

jd :3: sehun are you in your dorm?

Big booty: ye but baek isnt here

Big booty: i thought he was still at the party

jd :3: baekhyun where are you

IT’S AVERAGE: my gmas hous e

jd :3: well that was no help

Baekhyun’s small dicc: I’ll try to look for him

IT’S AVERAGE: 999999999999999999999

Baekhyun’s small dicc: since im already out...

jd :3: i will too. I dont want him off doing something he’ll regret

IT’S AVERAGE: ahhhhh orangutanssn i lveo the monekis

Big booty: dae you wanna look together?

jd :3: it’s better if we split up

jd :3: im heading out

Big booty: cute rilakkuma loafers :)

jd :3: shut up they were a gift

Baekhyun’s small dicc: you’re welcome

Saturday, 11:46 PM

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i cant think of anywhere he could be outside of school

Baekhyun’s small dicc: where the fuck is he

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i’ll beat him tf up

jd :3: maybe we should check in school

jd :3: im pretty close so i’ll go

Big booty: i found junmyeon and he told me what happened

Baekhyun’s small dicc: what idiotic thing did he do this time

Big booty: he kissed yixing

jd :3: shit

Big booty: junmyeon told me that it was pretty intense but baek was moaning his name the whole time

IT’S AVERAGE: hipeppey yippeyes

Big booty: i think baek thought yixing was jun

Big booty: anyways joonmyeon and baek make eye contact for a couple of seconds and then he just bolts. He didnt even say anything to joonmyeon

Big booty: jm said he understood and that he wont hold it agaisnt baek bc he was soooooo fucking shit faced

Big booty: jm thinks he drank like two bottles of vodka

jd :3: dude

jd :3: one shot gets baek drunk

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i cant even imagine

Baekhyun’s small dicc: we have to fucking find him

Saturday, 11:57 PM

jd :3: i found his sorry ass

Baekhyun’s small dicc: where is he?

jd :3: he’s in the bathroom near the west entrance

jd :3: his whole ass is submerged in toilet water

jd :3: all the toilet paper is on the ground

jd :3: he’s singing row row row your boat with puke all over him

jd :3: and he’s missing a shoe

Big booty: oh my god…

Baekhyun’s small dicc: IM FUCKING NARUTO RUNNING I NEED THIS ON FILM

Baekhyun’s small dicc: IM GONNA BLACKMAIL THE SHIT OUT OF HIM

jd :3: don’t…

jd :3: use it for blackmail. Let’s just keep it between us

Baekhyun’s small dicc: gotcha dae

Big booty: do i tell jm where he is

jd :3: nooooo. I dont want to ruin baek’s life

jd :3: also i really need help getting him off the toilet he just keeps screaming save the orangutans

**Day 26: Resolving Matters**

Sunday, 2:27 PM

IT’S AVERAGE: what the fuck happened yesterday

IT’S AVERAGE: my head hurts so much i want to die

jd :3: u got so fucking shit faced that you kissed yixing

IT’S AVERAGE: UDKFUKKFUKKCKFUCK

IT’S AVERAGE: I RMMEEBERE

IT’S AVERAGE: I WAS SO CONFUSED WHEN I SAW JUNMYEON I THOUGHT HE HAD A TWIN

IT’S AVERAGE: HE PROBABLY HATES ME FORVEREERERE

Big booty: dude you’re ok

IT’S AVERAGE: ????

IT’S AVERAGE: TF U MEAN IM OK

IT’S AVERAGE: HE’S GOING TO BREAK UP WITH ME TODAY

IT’S AVERAGE: I JSUT SAW A TEXT FROM THIS MORNING SAYING THAT HE WANTS TO MEET ME AT 3

IT’S AVERAGE: MY FIRST REAL RELATIONSHIP

IT’S AVERAGE: HE COULDVE BEEN MY SUGAR DADDY

IT’S AVERAGE: BUT I LIKED HIM FOR HIM. I WANTED IT TO LAST

IT’S AVERAGE: I SHOULDVE TAKEN HIS MONEY WHILE I COULD

Big booty: dude no

Big booty: I mean that he forgives you

Big booty: you forgave him for what he did to you with yifan so he did the same

IT’S AVERAGE: ah yes

IT’S AVERAGE: now i have nothing to hold over his head when we get into arguments :(

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ihysm

IT’S AVERAGE: thanks boo :*

Baekhyun’s small dicc: sehun just fcuking said that your boyfriend forgive you for technically cheating and all you think about is that now you dont have something to hold over his head

IT’S AVERAGE: THAT TOO

IT’S AVERAGE: jm is so sweet

IT’S AVERAGE: so so sweet

IT’S AVERAGE: he is the sweetest

Baekhyun’s small dicc: if u say he’s sweet one more time im gonna gag

IT’S AVERAGE: he’s so

IT’S AVERAGE: sweet :)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: [video]

Baekhyun’s small dicc: so sweet

IT’S AVERAGE: TF IS THAT

IT’S AVERAGE: WHAT AM I DOING

jd :3: i found you there like that

IT’S AVERAGE: IM GOING TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW

jd :3: into an orangutan’s arms?

IT’S AVERAGE: et tu, jongdae?

Sunday, 4:15 PM

IT’S AVERAGE: everything is resolved between us~~

IT’S AVERAGE: he knows my coffee order, he's so precious~~~

Baekhyun’s small dicc: it’s 2/3 milk and 1/3 coffee plus 700 pounds of sugar

Baekhyun’s small dicc: that’s not coffee

Big booty: coffee is satan’s poison

IT’S AVERAGE: SHHHHH HE STILL KNOWS MY ORDER

IT’S AVERAGE: ah sehun :)

IT’S AVERAGE: we were talking about u :)

Big booty: i dont want my name to come out of your filthy, cocksucking mouth

IT’S AVERAGE: you’re just jealous sweatheart

IT’S AVERAGE: anywho

IT’S AVERAGE: jm told me that he’s being kicked out of the dorm the friday after next friday

IT’S AVERAGE: he said kyungsoo’s planning something special ;) i want to know all the deets ;)

Big booty: i didnt even know about that 0.o

IT’S AVERAGE: DID I FUCKIGN SPOIL IT

IT’S AVERAGE: I DID DIDNT I

Big booty: ogmgomggkm he just texted me rn asking to sleepover the week after next weekueydhkrrrerererereradrsgf

jd :3: get it

Baekhyun’s small dicc: if any domestic shit happens i dont want to hear it

Baekhyun’s small dicc: no

Baekhyun’s small dicc: nope

Baekhyun’s small dicc: not today

Baekhyun’s small dicc: not tomorrow

Baekhyun’s small dicc: not ever

Big booty: WELLLLL

Big booty: I will : )

Big booty: also i’ve been sorta upset over kyungsoo lately :/

jd :3: why?

jd :3: he is the most perfect, amazing, wonderful, astonishing, magnificent, stunning, breathtaking, fascinating, incredible, amazing, fantastic boyfriend in the whole wide world

Big booty: are you mocking me

jd :3: is it that obvious

Baekhyun’s small dicc: yes

Baekhyun’s small dicc: he’s the only person who uses that many adjectives in one sentence

Big booty: i hate you guys

jd :3: ugh ok

jd :3: why are you upset over him

Big booty: bc he hasnt told me that he loves me

Big booty: every time i text it he just says he likes me a lot

Big booty: but that’s not what i want him to say

jd :3: maybe he’s not ready to say it

jd :3: he’s probably one of those people who’ll say it when the moment’s right

Baekhyun’s small dicc: it’s been two fucking weeks

Baekhyun’s small dicc: since you started dating him

Baekhyun’s small dicc: isn’t wanting him to say he loves you asking too much

Big booty: UGH I DONT KNOW

Big booty: I DONT CARE

jd :3: don’t rush him to say it before he’s ready

jd :3: you haven’t said anything to him about it, right?

Big booty: i havent

Big booty: fuk u think i am bitch

jd :3: good

jd :3: and if you call me a bitch one more time i’ll bust a cap so far up your ass you’ll lose chromosomes

Big booty: im sorry : (

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ok so sehun

Baekhyun’s small dicc: when you’re doing cute shit during that sleepover you two sixth graders are having

Big booty: :(

Baekhyun’s small dicc: say that you love him

Baekhyun’s small dicc: you haven’t said it in person yet, right?

Big booty: no

Big booty: good idea

IT’S AVERAGE: say it after you suck his dick

Big booty: IM NOT GOING TO SUCK HIS DICK

**Day 38: Sleepovers and More?**

Saturday, 12:06 PM

Big booty: I am a new person

Big booty: I am never using any part of my body ever again

Big booty: I’m going to the dorm and I’m going to sleep eternally

IT’S AVERAGE: BETTER NOT

IT’S AVERAGE: IM IN HERE WITH JUNMYEON AND WE’RE NAKED

Big booty: jfc

jd :3: what happened

Big booty: I

Big booty: am not longer a boy

Baekhyun’s small dicc: SEHUNSDJFK

IT’S AVERAGE: BITCH DID HE FUCK YOU GWRIUDJSKLMX

IT’S AVERAGE: TOLD YOU HE WAS A BOTTOM

Big booty: no :)

IT’S AVERAGE: WHAHATTTTTT GOMGOM YOU FUCKED HIM GOGMGOM

IT’S AVERAGE: I DIDNT THINK YOU WOULD OMG

Big booty: we switched

IT’S AVERAGE: AHHHHHH IM YELLING

IT’S AVERAGE: YOU GUYS ARENT AS VANILLA AS I THOUGHT YOU’D BE

IT’S AVERAGE: SHIT OMG

Baekhyun’s small dicc: U SNATCHED THAT ASS SO GOOD

Baekhyun’s small dicc: IM DOING THE TARZAN YELL

jd :3: boi boi boi boi boi boi boi boi boi boi

Big booty: he was so gentle

Big booty: but when i fucked him he left claw marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fUckkkkk

Big booty: im proud of them

Big booty: i can wait until spring break

Big booty: so i can take off my shirt at the beach and show every fucking body

Big booty: jesus is so good

Big booty: it’s bc of that one time i went to church. thank you so very much oh holy lord

Big booty: tell jm to save me a seat next to him every sunday

jd :3: im so happy for you :3

Big booty: and it wasn’t even the best part

IT’S AVERAGE: WHAT WAS THE BEST PART

IT’S AVERAGE: DID HE FUCK YOU IN THE BATHROOM?

IT’S AVERAGE: ON THE ROOFTOP

IT’S AVERAGE: I

IT’S AVERAGE: WANT

IT’S AVERAGE: TO

IT’S AVERAGE: KNOW

IT’S AVERAGE: ASAP

Big booty: why is everything you think of sexual

IT’S AVERAGE: eye lyke 2 fuk

Baekhyun’s small dicc: gross, please don’t text like that

Baekhyun’s small dicc: sehun what happeeennnned

Big booty: he told me that he love me!!!!! I’m so happy just thinkgin about it ogmgom :)))

Big booty: also it’s our 1 month anniversary and i didnt realize o-0

Big booty: dont tell him that

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i took a screenshot :)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: also im so happy for you!!!!!!

Big booty: he said it before i did

Big booty: that’s what took me by surprise

Big booty: after we were done

Big booty: we were lying down facing each other and he ran his hand through my hair and told me that he loved me :’)

Big booty: I love this man

Big booty: and you all said he’d never notice me

Big booty: well how about a big: FUCK YOU

jd :3: that’s bc you had no classes with him freshman year

jd :3: and you only saw him bc you went to the cafeteria at the same time :/

Big booty: DOESNT MATTER

Big booty: HES MINE AND HE LOVES ME

Big booty: SO SUCK IT

IT’S AVERAGE: is there anything TO suck, monsieur tiny dick?

Big booty: fuck you

**Day 50: Spring Break and Goodbyes**

Thursday, 11:11 AM

Big booty: ah we’re boarding the plane

Big booty: kyungsoo said for you guys to take of yourselves over break

jd :3: he is so sweet

jd :3: love that guy

Big booty: that’s why he’s my boyfriend ;)

IT’S AVERAGE: I hope your plane crashes before you get to jeju

IT’S AVERAGE: fucking slimey toe

Big booty: you’re just jealous i’m not taking you anywhere

Big booty: you’re gonna be so sad and lonely staying in seoul :( boohoo

Baekhyun’s small dicc: WHAT ABOUT ME

Baekhyun’s small dicc: YOU COULD’VE TAKEN ME

Baekhyun’s small dicc: MY MOM IS GOING TO FORCE ME BACK HOME

Baekhyun’s small dicc: I JSUT WANT TO GO TO THE BEACH WIHT MY FRIENDS

Baekhyun’s small dicc: BEING WITH MY MOM IS MORE TORTURE THAN BEING IN SCHOOL

Baekhyun’s small dicc: AND MY SISTER’S GOING HOME TOO I WANT TO DIE

Big booty: but is it

Big booty: my problem :)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ok so you dont want my mom’s cookies? Alright

Big booty: YES

Big booty: YES I WANT THEM THEYRE SO GOOD AND AMAZING

Big booty: IM SO SORRY FORGIVE ME

Baekhyun’s small dicc: that’s right bitch :)

jd :3: i’ll go over if you give me some

Baekhyun’s small dicc: COME RN

Baekhyun’s small dicc: DONT LET ME BE ALONE

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ILL GIVE YOU 2168378 COOKIES

jd :3: i am on my way~

jd :3: cookies make me so happy

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i like you happy :)

Baekhyun’s small dicc: u are so smol

jd :3: i’ll bite u

Baekhyun’s small dicc: like a chihuahua

jd :3: ok im not coming

Baekhyun’s small dicc: I WAS JOKING IT WAS A JOKE PLEASE COME AND SAVE ME FROM MY FAMILY

jd :3: eh fine

IT’S AVERAGE: I’m just glad I get to spend break with jm

IT’S AVERAGE: bc apparently kyungsoo ditched jm to be with you

IT’S AVERAGE: but im not complaining

IT’S AVERAGE: we get to fuck more B)))

Baekhyun’s small dicc: can u…

Baekhyun’s small dicc: shut the hell up

IT’S AVERAGE: no it’s not in my programming :)

Big booty: i have to turn my phone off now

Big booty: i’ll text you guys after we land

Big booty: bye, i love you guys so much~

Big booty: im going to miss you

Baekhyun’s small dicc: BYE!!! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH SEHUNNIE~~~!!! <3

IT’S AVERAGE: speak for yourself, ugly

jd :3: i’ll miss you so much. Ily!

Big booty: bye everyone. i’ll see you after break~

IT’S AVERAGE: im gonna miss that fart

jd :3: me too ;-;

Baekhyun’s small dicc: oh my god

Baekhyun’s small dicc: and u said to speak for myself

Baekhyun’s small dicc: BUT YOU LOVE SEHUNNIE TOO. SO SWEET

IT’S AVERAGE: i’ll kill you

jd :3: sehun and kyungsoo are really a great couple

jd :3: they’re so innocent unlike other people *cough*

IT’S AVERAGE: ARE YOU SAYING ME AND JM ARENT INNOCENT

IT’S AVERAGE: I’LL CASTRATE YOU

IT’S AVERAGE: I’LL MAKE YOU A EUNUCH

jd :3: i didn’t say it WAS you. You made an assumption :)

jd :3: anyways, i hope sehun and kyungsoo last a long time

jd :3: they’re really perfect for each other

Baekhyun’s small dicc: ah yes

Baekhyun’s small dicc: they really are

Baekhyun’s small dicc: they’re my children

jd :3: chanyeol what

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i am their daddy

jd :3: CHANYEOL

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i have jumped ship

Baekhyun’s small dicc: i ship my sons

IT’S AVERAGE: chanyeol shut the fuck up you’re being weird

IT’S AVERAGE: so anywho

IT’S AVERAGE: when do you think sehun’s gonna suck his dick

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for wasting your time reading 8509 words of pure garbage :) I might put up a part two some time in the future but for now who knows ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Catch you guys later~


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